can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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