better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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