i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
