I wish I could punch you in the face.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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