Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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