he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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