Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
