sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
