I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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