Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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