Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
