so that wasnt chicken after all
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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