Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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