Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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