i jhust puked up my retainher.
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
