JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
