I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
