I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
