Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
