We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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