I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
