I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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