he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
