Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
