I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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