hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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