standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
