i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
