well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
