Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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