Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
