Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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