Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
