I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize