the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
