I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
