he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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