Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
