I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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