some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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