Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
