Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
