I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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