I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
