ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
