I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
