scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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