She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
