You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
