I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
