Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
