May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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