I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
