I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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