soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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