I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
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Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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