Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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