We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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