Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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