I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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