Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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