It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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