he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
