i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Idk if I want to put a bra on
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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