it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
