It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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