I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
