Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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